Life and Passion

Out of ten births (each one a miracle), two have stood out as my favourite; the two where Ben delivered the baby before the midwife arrived. One of them was my easiest labour, and the other, one of my most difficult.

But, each time, it was just the two of us, together, in our dimly lit bedroom, communicating, making eye contact, touching, knowing, committed, crying, laughing, completing a work of Divine mystery together.

They were my favourite births because Ben and I were alone, consummating a masterpiece that began in privacy and intimacy and love nine months earlier in the same space… just the two of us, now three, Divinely connected by the spark of the Holy Spirit that breathes through passion and power, and makes us into more.

In reflecting on children, life and fertility, it has become increasingly clear that the culture has separated the vehicle of sexual intimacy from it’s ultimate intention: procreation. The world strains for physical pleasure/connectivity, while divorcing the naturally designed outcome of that passion: life, and life abundantly!

Only recently, I realized that the opposite is also true.  Gone is the small bubble of intimacy at birth – a la Adam and Eve.  The world has made pregnancy, delivery and birth a mechanical, medicalized, spectator-sport-for-experts, and gone is the natural intimacy that is inherent in the whole birthing process.

When a labouring woman is constantly observed, prodded, checked, and talked to, during a time where she needs privacy and focus and peace, fear is increasingly invited into the labour room. The whole process that began so intimately and beautifully at conception, without the help of a coach (!), seems it must end in exposure and a sort of floundering victimhood.

“…labour is an incredible opportunity for couples to connect with one another…. It is time to honour the true continuum of sexuality and sensuality that actually conceived your child to begin with… [it is possible to] experience birth as pleasurable and sensual. Ina May Gaskin says, ‘The energy that gets the baby in, gets the baby out.’” (-Dayna Martin)

New life is intrinsically connected to passion. God’s passion created us, and our passion continues the work!  What a mighty invitation to expect more and enjoy more of what was intended to be beautiful and intimate from beginning to end.

{There is not a hint of condemnation in these words… for all sorts of reasons, women experience a spectrum of birthing realities.  This is merely a reflection on a direction I believe that we can hope for, even if our own experiences haven’t played out this way.  This is the way of faith, after all: always moving deeper into awareness of God’s eternal goodness!}

You Might Also Like


  • Reply Sue Lyon January 9, 2018 at 2:17 pm

    What a lovely reflection even if many women have not been able to experience it like this when they wanted to. I pray that your next delivery will be another intimate time for you and Ben.

    • Reply Bonnie January 9, 2018 at 2:30 pm

      Thanks for your blessing, Sue!

    Leave a Reply